BENTONVILLE, AR — The new Walmart employee healthcare package offered to full time employees
will now just be a single GoFundMe page, according to a Monday press release from the corporation.
“Beginning January 1, 2022, associates will no longer have to pay premiums, deductibles, or fees for
access to their health care,” the press release states. “Now when an associate requires medical
coverage (from an approved list of ailments), they can contact their H.R. representative, who will add
their name to a list on our permanent GoFundMe page!” Public health officials expect the move to have
a ripple effect throughout the entire healthcare industry, while many workers remain wary of the perceived
cutbacks. “It’ll be nice to have more money in my take-home pay, but I also suspect they’re doing it to help
out their bottom line,” said Clive Howell-Douglass, a 67 year old Natchez, Mississippi-area Walmart food
and grocery associate. “But I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of that go-funding website. I just hope it’s not
as bad as Obamacare.” While the release offers no explanation of the company’s decision to drop all
of its insurance options for employees, it does tout the “freedom of our associates to receive up to 100%
funding for most ailments, surgeries, and injuries — especially during periods when
[GoFundMe members] are feeling particularly generous.” Perhaps inspired by move, JCPenny
announced a Kickstarter “to hopefully make it to fucking Memorial Day.”
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