Increasingly Angry Dad Can’t Get Slinky To Go All The Way Down The Goddamn Stairs

TAOS, NM — Despite his repeated attempts, Jerry Taylor could not get a Slinky to go all the way down the stairs Tuesday night, refusing to let either of his children have a turn until he did. “Get out of the way,” Taylor told his sons. “This time it’s going all the way down.” The Slinky was originally intended as a present for his youngest son Tom, but Taylor yanked it from the child’s hand as soon as the package was opened and rushed to the second story of their home so he could set it in motion. “Dad was really excited about the toy,” said Tom. “But he couldn’t get it to go down more than three stairs, and then he got really mad and started to yell.” Added Tom: “He even called mom a bad word.” After several unsuccessful attempts, his son asked if he could try, but the elder Taylor picked up the Slinky, clutched it to his chest, and shouted, “No, not until the god damn Slinky gets all the way to the last god damn step!” At press time everyone in the Taylor family was crying and wondering how a simple toy could sow such terrible discord.