Originator Of All Of Life's Problems Staring Back In Mirror, Man Suddenly Realizes

BATHROOM — The common denominator of every single one of Oliver Russell's problems stared back at him forlornly in the mirror yesterday morning, the man suddenly realized. “Oh shit, I’m fucking everything up, aren’t I?” Russell asked his reflection. “This isn’t how my life is supposed to be going at all.” The troubled man had merely been brushing his teeth like any other morning when seemingly out of nowhere the crushing weight of horrible awareness landed squarely on his shoulders, contorting his face into an unmistakable expression of despair and self-pity. “But it is me,” he said in this moment of clarity. “It’s been me the whole time. I’m the reason my life is so shitty.” Russell then finished brushing his teeth, called in sick for work, and sat motionless on the couch until the sun went down — at which point he sat in total darkness and wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do now.