Recipe: Tap Water Soup

Back when I was a lad eking out an existence in a shanty on the muddy banks of the Cherry Creek, my evil Auntie Eris — who took custody of me and my blind little brother after a gory bubble wrap accident claimed the lives of my parents — used to serve up this dish whenever the mighty rumbling of our stomachs became so loud that she couldn’t concentrate on feeding and grooming her 16 evil cats.

Ingredients:
Tap Water

Preparation:
Fill up bowl with warm tap water. If you’re especially evil, allow water to cool until it’s somewhere between lukewarm and tepid. Garnish with air.

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