AURORA, CO — The mold forming inside a bag of pita bread Carl Peterson purchased last Sunday served as a sad reminder of the grand falafel banquet that, despite his lofty plans, sadly never materialized. “When I was at the grocery store, I passed the frozen falafels and was just hit with this wave of inspiration,” said Peterson. “I grabbed three things of them so I could make enough for all my roommates, and then I made a beeline for the rest of the stuff.” In anticipation of the lavish dinner he was imagining, the frenzied shopper proceeded to fill his cart with hummus, tomatoes, lettuce, and the economy-sized bag of pita bread. “I was so super excited about the Middle Eastern-themed meal I was going to host, but after I brought all the stuff home, things didn’t really work out the way I planned,” said Peterson. “On Monday [roommate] Dean brought home bagels from his work, on Tuesday [roommate] Rhea scored some pizzas because her boss was sick, and the rest of the week I was too hungover to even think about making dinner. By Saturday... well it was just too late.” Peterson and his roommates considered making pita sandwiches with a loaf of white bread somebody dumpstered, but the plans were quickly jettisoned when it was discovered that that bread was moldy as well.