DOWNTOWN — Roughly an hour after forgetting he consumed a cherry-flavored, THC-infused piece of candy, Mr. Pita food truck employee Carl Merta was momentarily confused as to why he was in a good mood all of a sudden.
“I ate the candy right before I left the house this morning,” said Merta. “And at some point during my commute, I must have just forgotten about it. It came as quite a surprise when it started to hit me.”
Merta — who began his shift sober, with his typical shitty attitude — slowly began to notice changes in his behavior that left him baffled for a few minutes.
“I was actually being nice to the customers and my coworkers,” he said. “I was like, ‘What the fuck is happening to me?’ And then after I laughed at a customer who asked if I was Mr. Pita, I knew right away something was up. I have to hear that joke at least four times a day and I never even crack a smile. It was at that point that I realized I must be baked out of my mind.”
Cathy DeWitt, Merta’s employer and owner of the Mr. Pita food truck, noticed the marked difference in his attitude and demeanor right away. Having never experimented with pot herself, she had no idea that his red eyes and perpetual smile were the results of consuming legal drugs.
“I don’t know what got into Carl,” said DeWitt, who never would have guessed it was an edible filled with weed that had literally gotten into Carl. “He started his shift with his typical negativite doom and gloom outlook, but then out of nowhere he started joking around with the customers and saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when he needed me and [coworker] James [Watts] to restock the hummus and tomatoes. I didn’t even know the word ‘thanks’ was in his vocabulary.”
While she couldn’t explain the abrupt change in his disposition, she was never the less impressed.
“We all made a lot more tips because of Carl’s good mood,” she continued. “It’s like people could tell we were all happy and having fun, and they wanted to somehow be a part of that happiness by putting more money into the jar. Even when Carl somehow managed to make a mistake at the register — something he never does ordinarily — he actually shortchanged the customer. When I pointed it out, the customer told us to throw the extra money into the tip jar. Even his mistakes worked out for the best.”Merta spent the remainder of his shift stoned and happy, to the delight of everyone with whom he came into contact. Upon clocking out, he vowed to consume more weed before work, so that everyone around him could reap the benefits.
“The next time I try this, I may just smoke a joint, so that I’m high right away. That way, I can easily warn everyone I’m not going to be a dick that day,” he said. “I’d hate to shock everyone with impromptu happiness again, especially when no one — including me — saw that shit coming.”
Once he left for the day, the remaining staff at Mr. Pita marveled at how much fun Merta had been throughout his shift.
“I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed working that much,” DeWitt said. “Hopefully Carl keeps smoking whatever the hell he was smoking today.”
Unbeknownst to DeWitt, she had nothing to worry about.