Woman Sick Of Stupid Social Media Bullshit Unfollows All Profiles That Don’t Exclusively Post Pictures Of Puppies
CONGRESS PARK — Last night, Adriana Parrington, a smart, empathetic woman in her young 30s, became so damn sick of everyone’s social media posts that she unfollowed every single profile that didn’t exclusively fill its feed with puppies. “I’ve just fucking had it,” she said with a aggravated look on her face as she clutched her iPhone in her hand as though she was going to throw it across the goddamn room. “The pettiness, the vanity, the bullshit half-witted politics, the president’s big dumb orange face, the jokes that aren’t that funny, the misogyny, the existence of sports — all of that shit. Just fuck it, you know?” Once she took a deep breath and composed herself, she added: “From here on out it’s just puppies.” After scrolling through her new and improved Instagram feed that showcased post after post of various breeds of cute little dogs, her demeanor relaxed and she began to smile. “Maybe we’re not all fucked,” she said as she sat up to make herself a drink.