Coping With The World
“I don’t have any faith in humanity, yet I lose my faith in humanity on a daily basis,” she said after a long bout of silence. “According to the laws of physics, that should be impossible. It’s like not having your cake and losing it too.”
I laughed. “Where’s all that coming from?” I asked. We were driving through New Mexico and hadn’t said much to one another since Raton Pass.
“I saw a Trump sticker on a pickup truck a ways back,” she said.
I nodded. Ever since Colorado Springs, we’ve seen them on every sixth car or so.
“Still, for whatever reason, a little part of me dies when I see violence and greed being rewarded, or when large parts of society value ignorance over intelligence, or when I hear someone repeating the inane bullshit he heard on Fox News,” she continued.
“I often marvel at how fucking easy it is to descend into misanthropy,” I said.
She agreed, then continued: “But there has to be a reason why I’m disappointed with the actions of the mean and dumb. Because I’m under no delusion that they’re getting smarter or nicer.”
“Maybe there is hope out there,” I said as an SUV cut me off and I had to slow down about 20 miles an hour. “Shit!” I had to swerve a little too. But instead of getting upset about it, I took a deep breath. I had more to say about the topic at hand, and I didn't want to lose my train of thought. “Anyway, the reason you lose your faith in humanity is because you meet good people who subconsciously restore it. Then you think, ‘Why can't all people be like that?’ Then another asshole inevitably degrades your view of the world and you take it really hard because you're extremely sensitive.”
“Yeah,” she said. She thought about it for a few moments. “I suppose there are cool people out there, and other things like paintings and records, that help me out. And there’s sex and drugs and cool TV shows. There are cool things and people that give me hope, and I suppose it does restore my faith in humanity every once in awhile.”
“But I bet, somewhere in that head of yours, sometimes you wish your faith was never restored.”
“Yeah, that's true! Sometimes I wish everyone and everything was shitty and then I could just hate-live the rest of my life.”
I smirked. “It’s good to strive towards things.”
She laughed. “Yes, it is.”