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The Yellow Rake Will Save Your Life. The Yellow Rake Will Kill You.

Common Denominator Of All His Problems Staring Back Forlornly In Mirror, Man Suddenly Realizes

Common Denominator Of All His Problems Staring Back Forlornly In Mirror, Man Suddenly Realizes

BATHROOM — As Oliver Russell contemplated all the terrible decisions that brought him to this moment, the common denominator of all his problems stared back at him forlornly in the mirror, the man suddenly realized yesterday morning. “Oh shit, I’m fucking everything up, aren’t I?” Russell asked his reflection. “This isn’t how my life is supposed to be going at all.” The troubled man had merely been brushing his teeth like he did every other morning when seemingly out of nowhere the crushing weight of horrible awareness landed squarely on his shoulders, contorting his face into an unmistakable expression of despair and self-pity. “But it is me,” he said in this moment of clarity. “It’s been me the whole time. I did all this to myself.” Russell then finished brushing his teeth, called in sick for work, and sat motionless on the couch until the sun went down — at which point he remained in total darkness and wondered what the fuck he was supposed to do now.

This Shit’s Almost Over, Nation’s Scrooges Report

This Shit’s Almost Over, Nation’s Scrooges Report

Snoring Dog In Bedroom Involuntarily Downgrades Sleeping Location To Den

Snoring Dog In Bedroom Involuntarily Downgrades Sleeping Location To Den