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Snoring Dog In Bedroom Involuntarily Downgrades Sleeping Location To Den

Snoring Dog In Bedroom Involuntarily Downgrades Sleeping Location To Den

HOUSE — After waking his owner at 3:47 a.m., Lenny the Beagle’s sleeping location was promptly downgraded with prejudice from his owner’s bed to the den. “That damn dog snores as mightily as a drunken linebacker with severe allergies,” said Gary Canning of the recently relocated 30 pound beagle. “Sometimes I have no choice but to fling his ass out of here.” Although Canning knows he doesn’t have to let Lenny sleep on his bed, he admits he often has trouble setting firm limits on the dog’s nighttime whereabouts. “That god damn beagle just gets so pouty when I leave him on the couch in the living room at bedtime,” he continued. “I’d be a heartless bastard if I rejected his cuddles — and believe me, Lenny cuddles like a champ.” Later in the night, Canning was sternly invited to join his beagle on the couch after his wife reported that the snoring sounds no better when it comes out of a human.

Common Denominator Of All His Problems Staring Back Forlornly In Mirror, Man Suddenly Realizes

Common Denominator Of All His Problems Staring Back Forlornly In Mirror, Man Suddenly Realizes

Fargo, ND Tops Gentrifier’s Weekly List As Least Likely City To Be Gentrified For The Third Year In A Row

Fargo, ND Tops Gentrifier’s Weekly List As Least Likely City To Be Gentrified For The Third Year In A Row