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The Yellow Rake Will Save Your Life. The Yellow Rake Will Kill You.

Abortion And Gay Marriage Are About To Become Illegal, But That’s A Small Price To Pay For Not Voting For Clinton In 2016

Abortion And Gay Marriage Are About To Become Illegal, But That’s A Small Price To Pay For Not Voting For Clinton In 2016

If you’ve been paying attention to the news lately, you know that it’s getting rough out there. Disrespect for women is as bad as it was in the 1980s. Racism has seen a horrifying resurgence. Anti-intellectualism has reached its zenith in American culture. And due to the shifting balance of the supreme court, gay marriage and abortion are about to become illegal in certain northwestern, midwestern, and southern states. While I think all of these developments are objectively bad for the progress of the nation, I shudder to think how much it would have been for me to have personally voted for Hillary Clinton.

Here’s the thing about Clinton: she was just like, I guess, blah. And I just couldn’t vote for someone who’s blah, you know? I needed someone who inspired me. She was a career politician who would have probably done a fine enough job as president, safeguarding the things I hold dear (not sending the children of asylum seekers to prison, for starters). But did that mean she deserved my vote?

She didn’t get it, so I guess that answers that question.

There was a moment in my life where I asked myself, What’s more important: gay marriage, the right of a woman to control her body, the rights of minorities, human decency, world diplomacy, not waking up to bad news every day, not feeling embarrassed about my country every hour, or having to vote for someone like Hillary Clinton, who I personally just kind of felt meh over? Of course, the question is self-evident since I already made my choice in the October of 2016.

So my apologies to families of asylum-seeking refugees who continued to be torn apart. Sorry to the gay couples whose marriages may soon be in jeopardy. I feel bad for the women who won’t be able to get potentially life-saving abortions. And I feel sort of shitty about the fact that America is the laughing stock of the world. But Clinton was like, ugh, just kind of icky.

And while I really can’t stand the Republicans and the way they so brazenly disrespect and deride everyone who isn’t rich, white, and male, I don’t particularly like any politician who runs for any kind of office. Here’s the thing: most of the country is racist and dumb and they will always vote that way. But I am pure and my soul is unsullied by the corruption of our capitalist sham of a democracy. Which is why I hardly ever vote. Which is how the assholes always get elected. Which is why the rights that previous generations fought so hard for are about to be stripped from us. Which is why I can’t stand my country.

It’s just a shame there’s nothing I can do about it.

The Earworm Artist

The Earworm Artist

Man Who Loves Well-Meaning But Terrible Advice Enjoys Telling People He Has Insomnia

Man Who Loves Well-Meaning But Terrible Advice Enjoys Telling People He Has Insomnia