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Large, Foul-Smelling Spot On Towel Completely Negates Entire Shower

Large, Foul-Smelling Spot On Towel Completely Negates Entire Shower

CASTLEVILLE, CA — After her shower yesterday morning, Crystal Boon vigorously rubbed a towel with a large, foul-smelling spot across her entire body, thus negating her entire bathing experience. “I didn’t think to smell-test the towel, because I had just pulled it out of the closet, like, two days ago,” Boone said. “But, Jesus, I wish I would have given it at least a whiff.” The spot — no larger than a flattened out red plastic eggs-worth of Silly Putty — caused her entire torso to emit a stench so odious, she had no choice but to discount the shower that had concluded only seconds prior and prepare to take a whole new one. But before she turned the water on, she headed back to the linen closet. “Of course I went and got a new towel,” she said. “I smelled the hell out of that one, too, because I didn’t want to have to take a third shower.” According to Boone, the second shower went much better, and after briefly contemplating whether to cut out the spot of the infected towel and send it to a shitty ex-boyfriend or Focus on the Family or something, she resolved instead to fling it in the hamper and quickly close the lid.

Humble Up

Humble Up

The Earworm Artist

The Earworm Artist